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I can see a timeline in the near future where Trump and who knows how many others are impeached or removed/resigned from office. Sure. What I am already not feeling are the inevitable thinkpieces about how strong our democracy is and the "power" and "exceptionalism" of american institutions that allowed us to survive something like this. I'm not fucking here for that bankrupt, faux folksy nationalist diaper smear crap. This shit was so weak that some ridiculous charlatan business turd was able to sleaze his way into office through our shithole obsolete electoral system, do critical damage to basically everything in less than 3 months, and the self styled "opposition" party either cozied up to burgeoning fascist power thinking they could work with it, or set up an insipidly hollow, saccharine, "resistance" which was not intersectional or meaningful in any way. I can already almost see and hear this shit happening and I can probably name like 50 people who are going to write them thinking the are gonna get the pulitzer and nobel for being original and amazing. nope.

there's nothing exceptional about America. we're like, the biggest threat to world peace, we're a shithole. I'd leave if I could but kkkapitalism prevents me right now. I hope a comet hits us.
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the whole media narrative around the police murder of Jordan Edwards is disgusting and not even subtly white supremacist. talk about his GPA and the fact that his father "was present" and that things like this mean "this shouldn't have happened" as if there's an acceptable demographic where a police officer is allowed to execute someone on the street, whether armed or unarmed, and then lie about it again. the fact that the media had to go and put his character on trial and validate that he was a "good one" first is absolutely appalling. the fact that pig cop apologists are already making excuses in the media and everywhere is not surprising but further disgusting. and of course white authorities are appealing for calm after we just genocided another youth of color. and this is a "we" thing because this is white supremacy and this is something we tolerate and something we are complicit with. witness yourself amerikkka. white people, each of us is that cop, killing that young man with a rifle. we're each Rose Armitage, standing on the porch in our riding outfit with the hunting rifle while the house burns. each of us is complicit in the absolutely stupefying crimes of this nation and our prison industrial complex that has disappeared millions of black men and women, and allowed the media to manufacture our innocence as though it was a problem with black families and black people. again this is happening. what are you doing about it? confront your racist friends and family. abolish this fucking state that enables and facilitates black and brown genocide and ethnocide. blessings to the rioters and the rebes, may this country burn all the way to the ground. vengeance for Jordan Edwards! Rise in Power. You were loved and valued.
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I hope that everyone had a blessed Beltane and a happy May Day!

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This is basically me at all times. My ADD is so frustrating. Sometimes I feel like it's getting stronger, but I should probably also start keeping a diary to see where it intersects with depression cycles and other garbage. I wish I had health insurance here in Missouri. I almost regret moving from CA for this reason, because I really need to be medicated. My grades suffer and it sucks.
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I've been playing a lot of Elder Scrolls Online. It's so good. It's not perfect but it's way better than WoW or Granado Espada (or whatever they're calling it these days).

I'm also getting ready to present at an academic conference at my school this Saturday, which will be fun. Last semester I wrote a paper about Street and Protest Medics, and then my folklore professor suggested I go to the Missouri Historical Society and present it. I did and it was received really well. This semester she suggested I apply to present at this literature conference being held at Missouri State, since folklore is under the purview of the English department. I'm updating the presentation a little bit because things have changed since the election and with all the street fighting going on in cities and college campuses. It's interesting. Nobody else is really doing this research, so if I can somehow figure out a way to get into grad school, this is what I want to work on. Not just because I'm a participant observer, but because this folk group goes back decades and across demographics. I want to do justice to the work of the civil rights era folks and those that did medic work during the labor unrest in the early part of the 20th century.

School is winding down for the semester, so I'm just coasting on auto-pilot until then. It'll be nice to have 3 months off until fall semester starts. Hopefully I'll be able to find some work so I'm not a burden on the Mister and his kids. I'm going to try for Walmart, because it's cheap and the discount will be a nice when it's time for groceries and school shopping. I'm deliberately avoiding an anti-capitalist critique of this. I need work to survive, it's that simple.

I should be asleep, because I have class tomorrow, but attendance is optional so LOOOOLOLOLOOLOL.

fun stuff

Apr. 14th, 2017 04:54 am
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A good friend suggested I try Elder Scrolls Online, as it's having a free week. Well, needless to say, I'm hooked. The game is fun. It's not perfect and I have like 34495945 suggestions for improvement, but it's fun and free. My computer can barely run it, so it's not as pretty for me as it is for others, but I'm still enjoying it. I'm not a huge graphics person, so I'll live.

This is Marna Leafdown, a character I made for a D&D game back in 2002 or 2003, and I've been playing iterations of her ever since. In this game, she's a Bosmer Nightblade and she has a Bear mount named Iorek and a Cat companion named Caramel. Love it! :)


Apr. 11th, 2017 11:50 pm
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I was thinking of doing some sort of "what i've been doing since 2009" post, but for tonight, I'm just going to write about school.

I've basically got 3 semesters left until I get my degree. If I could have taken summer classes, I might only have needed 2 more semesters. I'm a little frustrated for two reasons:

1) I am getting tired of school, mostly because I miss regular paychecks and health insurance. I wanted to graduate Spring 2018 so I could get a full time job again (ideally making use of my BA in Anthropology), but I guess it's going to have to wait until Winter 2018. Frustrating, but I'll get over it I guess.

2) I'm 36 years old. I've had a credit card for like 5 years, with pretty good payment history. I never extended my credit limit past $750. Because I waited until I was 30 to start building credit, and because I have only one open line, nobody is willing to give me private loans without a cosigner. Like...I'm 36. I'm not asking my fucking parents or my partner or my partner's parents to cosign a loan for me. It's frustrating. I only got the tiniest bit of credit because I had problems renting when I lived in San Francisco. Nobody wanted to rent to me because I was basically a ghost in the system. Now I can't get student loans because I have a very modest amount of debt and credit limit, primarily as an act of financial self preservation because I have an impulse disorder and no health insurance or money for mental health care, LOL. Yay Amerikkka. Anyway, I was going to use the private loan of $2000 to pay for tuition for my summer classes and 2 months rent, but that's not happening now.

Anyway, I am excited about my classes for this fall:

North American Archaeology
History of Anthropological Theory
Human Variation

I just added Human Variation about an hour ago because the 'Themes in Folkloristics' class isn't actually going to be offered this fall. I'm appealing to the University now to get my math credits from Santa Rosa Junior College transferred over. I'm not a math person and the idea of taking algebra again is really upsetting. I am ready but not excited for statistics, especially because it's relevant to my future career.

My goal is to get my BA in Anthropology and minor in Folklore. I was going to go for my MA in Applied Anthropology, focusing on Ethnography, but the Missouri Governor torpedoed higher education funding and so MSU isn't accepting Applied Anthropology students for the foreseeable future. It's looking increasingly likely I'm either going to have to get my MA online, or overseas. I'm really looking into Germany, Iceland and Scandinavia, since they have a lot of offerings for international students. Anyway, we'll see. It's frustrating and we live in a collapsing empire, so all of this could get scattered to the winds at any moment.
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Oh man, I missed this so much.

I've tried blogging on different sites, but it just didn't have the same feel that livejournal did and it always felt like a chore after a few months of writing. I hated livejournal for a lot of reasons and didn't want to go back. I'm so glad that people were talking about dreamwidth, and I'm so in this. I am so so so happy. I already want to write like 50 entries about shit. I have so much to write about!

I'm not really looking for this to be the next livejournal. This is a different beast, the internet is different and I am different. Even if nothing really takes off and this ends up just being me, I'm so happy.


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